When is colonic irrigation suitable conversation?

By Magenta Edwards

 
Not considered polite and proper to discuss at the dinner table, or over cocktails, or at a birthday party or in bed with your lover or out for tea with your granny…

So when is colonic irrigation suitable conversation?

Colonic irrigation

We are British and we wince at the sheer mention of the word pooh (not however when discussing our own children’s (new parents seem to ascertain that ‘their Ruby’s’ toilet habits are totally acceptable points of discussion and they also labour under the misapprehension this is of interest )). So as a colonic enthusiast I have decided to take it upon myself to go through the ins and outs of this weirdly wonderful process and if it may be of benefit to you…

Planet Janet

My first experience was at a holistic centre called Planet Janet in Hove, maybe seven years ago. I was introduced to the nice smelling middle aged lady that would be draining my tubes and was asked to follow her to the ‘lab’ (I have just decided to refer to it as that) and strip from the waist down, cover my modesty with the supplied beige towel and wait on the adjustable bed. I remember being perched precariously and scanning room for escape routes…

In she strolled smiley and reassuring. She laid me out with soft palms and asked was it my first time. I assured her that it was and she said I’d be fine and flattered me in complimenting me on such a wise young lady I was to be so considerate of my health. Then came the words ‘take a deep breath in and I shall insert the tube’.

The first water gush up your jacksy, is, I’m not going to lie, odd. But then you relax and your belly kind of tickles and accepts its fate. My lady, we’ll refer to her as Janet for ease, talked me through the issues of a western diet and processed foods… she asked me questions about my life style and diet – which I answered as honestly as I found necessary… she advised on what was missing and where I was going wrong, and, also where I was going right. According to Janet the British are the most constipated country in Europe, hmmm. We aren’t eating enough live yoghurt. Or bananas. And we all consume too much caffeine and alcohol. But then we already knew that.

The session lasts around 40 minutes, and, as the ‘wash’ goes on I must admit it does become slightly achy as the water reaches further around the colon, however, being able to watch the remnants of up to 20 years’ worth of unprocessed gristle travel through the clear pipe, more than makes up for the discomfort.

I found after that after the hydrotherapy I started to yawn and feel slightly light headed, when I spoke to Janet about this I was informed that my newly cleaned bowel was now able to absorb more oxygen and it would take a short time for my body and blood to recalibrate. I liked the sound of this…

Improved energy levels

After a litre of mineral water and a little disco nap I awoke to improved energy levels and a feeling of lightness and well-being. Within a couple of days my skin felt clearer and my digestion had taken on a more regular routine.

So, latest fad or excellent idea?

I personally love a good colonic flushing and would recommend to all. I go on average once a year and find there are numerous internet sites which offer half price vouchers. Look at local deal on Groupon.co.uk, Livingsocial.co.uk and KGBdeals.com.